I've forgotten that I need to do blog entries for Communications class at NTAC.
I kinda liked annotating my art folio in year 12 so I guess if I think of this as similar, it might be a little easier to motivate myself.
Ah so I started this course a few weeks later than the rest of the students because I was trying to avoid thinking about where my life was heading. I was enjoying floating around and just being where I liked but as soon as my friends were going back to TAFE I realised that I wasn't doing anything.
I really didn't enjoy the idea of getting a job, I'm kind of afraid of joining the rat race and then getting trapped there forever. That's not the kind of person I want to be, just another worker.
I've always known I liked art in high school and it was a nice, calm distraction from my other classes because I was allowed to express what I felt, I was allowed to feel crappy and take it out on my work. So at the end of the year I was considering going on to RMIT or something, that's what I had my eye on for some reason. I went to an open day there and the fine arts building was gorgeous, but the visual arts course was in another building down the street... but still.
Umm, I still wasn't sure I wanted to get into further education I was so sick of highschool and I had lost motivation to do very well so I just cruised through exams and didn't build much of a folio. I was just so glad when it was all over, I just wanted to get as far away as possible. I'd found a new group of friends that didn't go to my high school and my old friends eventually started to bother me. After schoolies I basically ditched them all.
I think I just needed to start over.
So when all of my new friends now had things to do, I had nothing and was feeling pretty shit about life.
I was getting by on $30 for mowing the lawn every few weeks and the occasional few dollars I could talk out of Mum for petrol. Quitting study wasn't the best thing to do financially.
I had a random thought one night while just feeling shit about wasting my life (potentially), that I could see my mentor and art teacher from year 12 and she could tell me what I needed to do. She said that how would I know if I wanted to do a course if I hadn't done one and sent me off with the careers advisor person and he called up NCAT for me to ask if they had any places free and if I could go in for an interview. Me and my art teacher had spoken about NCAT as an option before because I didn't have a very strong folio, that along with my other grades, there was practically no way I was getting into a university art course.
So yeah, on my way home from the school I received a call from NCAT and they wanted to see me and I went in as soon as I could and it just all happened so quickly.
Now that I am in this course I am getting a familiar feeling. I can image myself getting really bogged down with work that I have no motivation to get it done and fearing failure.
I now know that I couldn't go on and do another 2 years of schooling (on top of this one).
My goal at the moment is to just get this course done. It's only a year. Well... that's what I've been saying to myself. When you think about your entire life, one year is hardly anything and time does seem to go fast so I might be okay, I might survive :P
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